god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
