You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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