This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Randomize