I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
