I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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