So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
