if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
