I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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