before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize