he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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