her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
