Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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