it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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