Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
