They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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