Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
