He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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