Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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