that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
