Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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