saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Everclear isn't food dammit
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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