if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
