seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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