I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
