I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
