Do you still have your period?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
