The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
