I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
