So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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