I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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