How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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