the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
