my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
