That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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