I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
