theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize