my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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