:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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