Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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