You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
