so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
