I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My penis needs a shock collar
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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