didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
