So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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