I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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