FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
