I'm jealous of your bromance
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
