Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
