I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
