i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
