is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
