I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
