And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
