6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
do herpes really smell.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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