She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
