Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize