Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
