Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
