She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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