It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
