He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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