we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
