I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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