grandma shit on top of the toilet
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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