Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
