I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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