pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize