I heard we made out
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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